"they are psychologically shattered"!
Beating the child s hatred towards those who hit him. What kills the positive feelings that are supposed to bring them together and bring them closer together, and makes the relationship between the child and his striker a relationship of fear not respect and appreciation that take into account modern education methods for children Always search for the best sound solutions to address some wrong behaviors, especially those that arise from them at the beginning of their lives, and it is usually unintentionally from them But it puts the parents in an awkward situation, which may cause a quick reaction to discipline. In a way that pushes the innocence of the child to stand on the abyss of falling into mental illnesses that affect his personality in old age, and we often see in our surroundings or in public places a parent who loudly collapses his little child, and utters harsh terms that cause him embarrassment, and exposes him to ridicule in front of others, specifically children who are in His age stage.
Kill the breeding
The hitting of the child s hatred towards his or her rack. What kills the positive feelings that are supposed to bring them together and bring them closer together, and makes the relationship between the child and his striker a relationship of fear not respect and appreciation, in addition to that it s leadership children for everyone who has authority and powers or is older or more powerful, and this resilience weakens the personality of children, and makes them an easier character for blind obedience Especially when growing up with bad companions, it also kills an education based on conviction and building the standards necessary to understand matters, distinguishing between right and wrong, right and wrong, and abolishes dialogue, taking and giving in talking and discussion between adults and children, and wasting opportunities for understanding and understanding of children and the motives of their behavior, their psyche, and their needs, Beating also impoverishes the child and deprives him of his psychological needs for acceptance, reassurance, and love, and gives him a bad example for children and deprives them of the process of following the example, and increases the intensity of the suffering of the majority of children, makes them aggressive, and the child may weaken and destroy their moral sense of his own value. It makes him an introverted self-shy, incapable of adapting and adapting to social life. It also keeps him away from learning life skills such as “self-understanding,” “self-confidence,” “ambition,” and “searching for success,” and makes him a person incapable of acquiring skills. Social, so it is difficult for him to interact with others, children or adults.
Internal drive
The resort to beating is considered to be a resort to the lowest and least successful educational skills, as it addresses the outward appearance of behavior and neglects its origin, and therefore the results of beating are usually temporary and do not last through days, as it does not correct ideas, and does not make the behavior straight, but rather strengthens the external motives of behavior at the expense of the internal motivation which is the most important religiously. And psychologically, it distracts from sincerity, approaches hypocrisy, and fear of people, so it makes the child leave work for fear of punishment, and does it with work for the sake of adults, both of which are a perversion of the motives for proper behavior that should stem from within the child: conviction, love, sincerity, ambition, and greed In success and achievement of goals, and for fear of self-loss, the beating may push the child to dare to the father and to declare his disagreement and insistence on error.
Parental satisfaction
“Dr. Khaled Bahaqiq” - a family consultant and psychologist - said, “Children go through multiple stages in their lives in which they need a lot of passionate feelings, equivalent to the love they need in the rest of their lives, and after puberty they need more, and at the age of (18) years the need increases. That the son may seek it for the rest of his life, and this means that children are in dire need of love from parents even during their mistakes, and we usually notice that when the child crawls before the stage of his dependence on walking, we find that before he reaches the thing that he wants to catch he looks at his parents, and if he finds encouragement from them, he goes with full confidence », Indicating that the child is more satisfactory to his parents in childhood than in adulthood, and most of his behaviors in childhood are mainly concerned with obtaining attention from parents. If the attention is positive, this increases it support, encouragement, and confidence, and the occurrence of mistakes usually is an inevitable result of lack of knowledge, and therefore must be The parents are friends of the child, indicating that the child up to the age of (11) does not know lying, but when this behavior occurs from him, it is a defense mechanism in himself for fear of the consequences of the mistake.
Express feelings
He added: “Sometimes children forget the punishment they were subjected to, but other reactions appear as side effects of this punishment, including verbal and physical punishment, which is classified as violence that appears in a later period of life with what is called (social phobia), and this appears in the adult stage, and it may develop To the extent that when the child grows up, he is unable to express his feelings with his children and his wife, as a result of the lack of parents for him in childhood, and some of them develop (stuttering) As a result of verbal violence in an attempt to force the child, and you need treatment to restore him to normal speech, and comparing young people to their companions or reprimanding them in front of them causes them to have a resentment towards their parents and friends », demanding not to insult the child no matter what happened to him, but he must give him love because the insult will make him grow weak and will leave symptoms Sideways in the future This hinders his ability to study and give, so raising them should be with love, children need love to a great extent, and when they grow up, disturbing situations in the puberty period decrease as a result of the love they found, and the child will consider his parents his friends and be ashamed of doing the things that bother them.
Cultivation of values
He indicated his firm rejection of the punishment for the wrongful behavior of children. Because it means hunting mistakes, replacing punishment with good deeds, and hunting for good behaviors, with the necessity to use preventive means in planting values and principles and how to deal with others, explaining that if they make mistakes, we must understand the reasons for their falling into it and how to avoid it in the future with a love relationship, considering some citing the punishment for beating for prayers for ten years of abuse Understanding the hadith, hitting is not hurting so much as it is a touch of attention, and the punishment must be in an exceptional case, which should not be the blinding of adults if they exceed the limits and according to certain conditions.
lost love
He added that mistakes must happen, because they are at the beginning of the experience, but the real thing that was discovered in the children is the existence of the structure of the building, and if the basic rules are planted they still have this structure drawn from the parents, so the family violence that occurs is basically the violence that the child experienced between the parents or them together. His environment is a violent environment, so the children will inherit it without a doubt, stressing the need for dialogue with children because it is important and required, and modern education must be derived from the good example of our master Muhammad - may God bless him and grant him peace - and education through punishments must be stopped, whether from parents or any other party, He presented advice to the parents that included the importance of their adherence to principles, meaning that the father did not forbid an act and implement it, adding words of praise to the children’s ears for their behavior and making them feel interested, as children follow the father, and therefore their parents must love them so that they do not search for lost love from them on the street.
He becomes aggressive "avenging" and isolated from his friends for fear that they will lend him !
"Dr. Nizar Al-Saleh" - Secretary General of the National Center for Youth Research - said that education is a continuous stage in which the child grows up on education, values and norms, noting that dealing with children at the beginning of their lives is like "Page White". The more we make an effort to take care of them psychologically and socially, the better they will be in their future life, and if the first six years of their lives have passed in a good manner, care and education, this means that we have provided them with entering the next stages of their lives in a safe and away from psychological problems, especially the stage of adolescence, indicating that some parents believe that education is Paying attention to the health aspect such as vaccinations, treatment, and others believe that caring for food is to improve their physical condition, and some of them go further than that, including nutrition, treatment, and the educational aspect.
He added that children love to imitate, and therefore children practice that, warning against discipline in front of others. The child is sensitive in this aspect, and if I praise him in front of others, that makes the echo double, and the children are happy with joy, as this praise is a reward for his behavior at home and a reinforcement for his behavior, but if he reprimands him strictly in front of others, this will reflect negatively on the child. This makes him introverted and isolated from others, and it is possible that he turns into an aggressive child, breaks everything around him, becomes nervous, and makes the matter worse if the reprimand is in front of children of the same age group, so the children reproach him with what his parents said, and it becomes a stain in his character that is difficult to get him out of her circle, and thus he becomes dealing Nervous with others.
He indicated that the child records and analyzes everything that revolves around him. If the environment is educational and encouraging, he deals with it properly, and increases his self-confidence and a sense of psychological comfort, and if the opposite thinks that others hate him and looks for behaviors that he thinks are appropriate, and provokes others in order to get their attention, then he begins to be quarrelsome and stubborn, all of which are a product of the method of education, demanding Parents should maintain their behavior at their natural rate, indicating that the Prophet’s biography is full of stories that illustrate how the Messenger - may God bless him and grant him peace - dealt with childhood in the sense of childhood, as he used to give them love, tenderness, and self-confidence, and he was not originally rebuked, and he was a good example for them. While fathers now teach their children violence, cruelty, and disrespect without even realizing it, through their behavior, their children imitate and imitate the family environment in which they live.
The "knot" of your harsh upbringing, do not pass it on to your children !
“Dr. Ali Zairi” - a consultant psychiatrist - said, “A child who is being reprimanded in front of others will not understand the parents’ message that is meant to raise him. He also becomes afraid of people and the place where he was punished, and we usually hear people who do no
