the personality of children
The article was written and prepared by Dr. Samira Al-Ghamdi, a consultant child and adolescent psychiatrist and a cognitive-behavioral therapist. Do you suffer from your child''s nervousness? Can''t control his activity, his stubbornness, his constant crying or his annoying words? Are you feeling frustrated and unable to make your child obedient without hitting, verbal rebuking, or painful comparison? Do you
Do you feel or feel remorseful when your children push you to violence with intent to raise?
In my article, I will talk to you about "parenting and methods of establishing and refining the personality of children" between the ages of 2-12 years!
It may seem to us that education is not difficult and that everyone can practice it without skills or perfect training !! But the truth is quite the opposite
"Breeding is the abstaining easy"
The breeder needs some characteristics and characteristics that must be paid attention to and be careful to acquire them if they are not present or refine them.
Among the most important of these features
1- Control of emotion
2- Prestige and lack of speech
3- Maintaining calm
4- Do not worry
5- Self-confidence
6- Control of remorse
And remember that "something lost does not give."
Do not ask your child to calm and control his nerves, anxiety and words, if you do not control yourself!
Breeding depends on 3 steps
1- Controlling the disturbing behaviors of the child
2- Encouraging good behaviors
3- Strengthening the relationship between the educator and the child
There are several ways to stop the disturbing behaviors, such as
1- Crying
2- Stubbornness
3- Screaming
4- Bad words
5- Sabotage
6- Hostility
But the following is required
1- Agreement between parents and unifying their method
2- Non-interference from outside (grandparents / friends)
3- Do not use hitting / reprimand / comparison
4- Not to retract the punishment, no matter how much your son pleads with you
5- The penalty should be time-specific and consistent with the mistake
6- To be at the time of the error
7 - That the educator is not in anger for another reason and pours it on his child, or that it is a scapegoat
8- That the educator does not reprimand and remind him of what he did in the past a lot
Punishment methods
Deprivation: by preventing him from owning or playing with something the child loves and is keen on, such as:
1- A game
2- Watching TV
3- Going out with the family
We also mentioned that the deprivation is
1- It is proportional to the behavior and bad behavior
2- It is for a specific time
3 - And that the child knows the reason for the deprivation only, without reproaching or talking too much with him
4- Not allowing the child to discuss punishment or compare him with his siblings
5- Punishment for the offender only, and not for all family members
6- The punishment should be easy to implement
Time-out Punishment
1- For the child to sit in a corner or on the punishment chair, or send him to his room
2- And after giving him 3 warnings to stop the disturbing behavior
3- The time-out is according to the child''s age by giving one minute each year (5 years = 5 minutes)
4- After the punishment is over, the child is not blamed or discussed
Difficulties in applying the punishment
You may find it difficult at first to impose methods of punishment because the child is not accustomed to them, but patience and persistence must be made until the child seriously feels what is happening.
Does punishment hurt my child psychologically?
Whoever believes that depriving or punishing a child may cause him a psychological condition or complication, that is not true at all, what affects the child''s psyche is:
Excessive pampering and fulfillment of requests
or
The beating
Verbal reprimand and abuse
Emotional neglect
Comparison and undermining his self-confidence
Neither excess nor neglect
Life is full of frustrations, and part of the education is teaching children how to face and overcome them without giving up or complaining
The second step
Encouraging good behavior
1- It is either verbally and in front of everyone
2- Repetition of praise and praise, defining behavior
3- Kissing and hugging
4- Or by giving him incentives (increasing TV hours / playing with his friends / a gift)
5- The value of incentives should not be exaggerated or the child should be allowed to bargain
The true value of education lies in the relationship of the child with his parents
You must have
Transparency
-2 Love
3- Containment
4- Feeling proud
5- Psychological and verbal support
6- Honesty, honesty, and honesty between us and our children is what builds trust between us and them and thus gives them confidence in themselves, around them and in the future
Provided that honesty is in everything
1- In our feelings
2- In our conversation with them
3- In our promises
4- In our praise and encouragement for them
5- Our commitment to honesty in all our affairs and giving them an example and value
Difficulty in parenting varies among children for reasons related to
1- Their nature
2- Home conditions
3- Their arrangement among their siblings
4- Individual differences
5- Psychiatric disorders
Dear Parents
Do not be ashamed to seek help from psychiatry to help you face your psychological problems or to help you with parenting methods, for their sake.
Finally, teach them
1- Honesty
2- Love
3- Tender
4- Self-confidence
5- Respect
6- Take responsibility
7- Happiness
8- Confrontation
9- Justice
10- Courage
11- The meaning of humanity...
