As infants develop intellectually and emotionally, they quickly learn to recognize and become attached to their parents or primary caregivers. As this bond strengthens, infants often become anxious or afraid whenever parents leave or strangers appear. These fears are a normal part of infant development and should resolve with time.

Separation Anxiety

Separation anxiety is a stage of normal development. During this stage, children become anxious when they are separated from their parents or primary caregivers.

Separation anxiety typically begins when children are approximately 8 months old and becomes most intense when children are 10 to 18 months old. When separated from their parents or caregivers, particularly when away from home, they feel threatened and unsafe. They look to their parents and caregivers for safety and reassurance. Children this age who cry when their parents or caregivers leave the room are not "spoiled." Rather, crying indicates the children have developed a sense of attachment to their parents or caregivers. Crying in this situation is a positive reaction.

Parents or caregivers may try playing peek-a-boo with children this age to reassure children that out of sight does not mean gone forever.

Separation anxiety continues until children are approximately 24 months old. At this age, children have learned object permanence and have developed trust. Object permanence is the knowledge that something (such as their parents) still exists even when it is not seen or heard. Separation anxiety resolves because children have learned that their parents or caregivers still exist even when they cannot be seen. Children have learned to trust their parents or caregivers will eventually return.

Usually, separation anxiety is not a cause for concern and does not require evaluation by a doctor.

Separation anxiety differs from separation anxiety disorder, which occurs in older children. Children with this disorder typically refuse to go to school or preschool. If severe, separation anxiety disorder may interfere with a child''s normal development.

Parents should not limit or give up their separate activities in response to a child’s separation anxiety because doing so could interfere with the child''s maturation and development.

When parents are ready to go out or leave the child at a child care center, they can try the following:

Making sure that any temporary caregiver is familiar to the child

Encouraging the person caring for the child to distract the child with toys, a game, or another activity as the parents leave

Limiting their response to the child''s crying before they leave

Remaining calm and reassuring

Establishing routines at separations to ease the child''s anxiety

Feeding the child and letting the child nap before they leave (because separation anxiety may be worse when a child is hungry or tired)

If a child cries when a parent goes to a another room in the home, the parent can call to the child from the other room, rather than immediately return to comfort the child. This response teaches the child that parents are still present even though the child cannot see them.

Separation anxiety that lasts beyond age 2 years may or may not be a problem depending on how much it interferes with the child''s development and functioning. For example, most children feel some fear when they begin preschool or kindergarten. If they are able to attend the program and their fear decreases with time, this fear is not considered separation anxiety. However, separation anxiety that keeps a child from attending child care or preschool or from playing normally with peers can be a sign of separation anxiety disorder. In such cases, children should be seen by a doctor.